Sunday, January 20, 2008
I drove to Valdosta today. I still knew my way around. Things have changed but Baytree, Jerry Jones Dr, Alden Ave, Remerton, and Gornto Road were still there, shooting me in the right direction. So many wonderful memories made in that city. I grew so close to Christ while there. I knew Him. He was my best friend. We talked everyday and I couldn't wait to dig into His Word to find out more of who He was. He taught me MUCH about myself during those four years. I saw my dirty heart - my sin. I saw His blood, His death, His perfection, His love, His grace. It flowed over me. My heart was undivided. I could give Him all of me - I focused on being an excellent student to bring Him glory. I wanted to please Him and be a good steward of the years in college He blessed me with. As I drove away from Valdosta today, my heart was sad. No longer do I spend massive amounts of time in His Word everyday, not even every week. I long to do so but my heart is divided. Idols? Probably. Time with Mitch, time with the kids, time to myself, time to sleep, time to spend with friends, time to go to the gym, time to clean and "keep up appearances". I long to be intimate with Christ again. It's so hard - why? Even though my time with the Father looks different now, He doesn't look upon me any differently. He still delights in me, still sings and dances over me, and still sees me as perfect - and He knows all the dirt on me. Now that's amazing grace.
Posted by Jawan at 11:37 PM