Sin...ugh

I hate my sin. My sin was never REAL to me until about ten years ago. That sounds weird, I know. Something happened in my walk with Christ. It deepened and I saw how dirty I was. I also saw, and still see, how redeemed I am. Sin is ugly. Nothing about sin is pretty. Everything about Jesus is. I feel empty because my time is filled with other things rather than meeting with Christ. Yet, He delights in me. He rejoices over me. Zephaniah 3:17:

"The LORD your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing."

I shake my head in disbelief. How could I sin against the Father? Why am I not consumed with Him like He is with me? Why am I so eager to please myself and others moreso than pleasing Him? The Gospel is true. I need reminding of it everyday. I need to repeat the questions/answers in my head like I do with my son: "Who made you? GOD! Why did God make you? For HIS glory!". Oh, thank you for the cross, Jesus. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. I cling to your cross.

I'm glad He exposes my dirt. I'm desperate for a Savior. Good news...there is one and His name is Jesus.